Our embryo transfer is tomorrow morning. We can add that to the top of the list of things I never thought I would say. I’m so grateful to be here, to have this opportunity, to have gotten this far. This is the closest I’ve been to having another baby in a long, long time. This in and of itself is such a gift; regardless of how things turn out two weeks from now.
We don’t know if this embryo will end up implanting or not. We don’t know if I’ll actually get pregnant. If I get pregnant, we don’t know if I’ll miscarry. We don’t know if this embryo will make it to term and be born healthy. We don’t know how the things that come in the next few weeks will mold and shape our future.
There is so much anxiety when we get lost in all the things we don’t know. But here’s the thing that really matters - we know our hearts will be held every step of the way. Both by the creator, and by the hundreds of you cheering us on from around the world. You flood my heart with so much courage.
We are already swept up in so much hope for this embryo, and all the potential and possibility that lies within in it’s microscopic size. It’s true that we can love our children long before conception. We can love them when they are embryos in a freezer. We can love them when they are little babies growing in our wombs. We can love them even after they have left this world. Even with all that I’m afraid I may lose if things don’t go as we’ve planned, I know I’ll never lose love. I learned that very well with Aria.